Vegeta Gets The Mail
by Koolblupjays
Summary: Well the title sums it up Vegeta Gets The Mail, but you will see lots of humor inbetween that walk from the house to the mailbox.


Vegeta woke to a loud banging on his front door. He jumped up and walked smugly to the front door. He opened the front and saw a tall man with a dust mask on. "Ah, yes the mailman" thought Vegeta "Is there something you wanted?" Vegeta asked rather gruffly for that hour of the morning. The mailman looked up meekly and smiled "Yes, sir you have some mail and since you haven't gotten your mail in twenty two days no more will fit in the mailbox" Vegeta paled as he thought "Damn that was the only thing Bulma had asked me to do, empty the mailbox." Oh, well he would go empty it out and see what had come. "Okay, what do you have for me?" the mailman quickly dug around in his shoulder bag for the mail while Vegeta was smirking at him "Sir, here you are." The mailman looked relieved when Vegeta took it from him. "Nice purse" Vegeta said as he turned around and walked back into the house.  
  
Vegeta waited to make sure that the mailman was gone, He then ran around to the back of their large house and took the wheelbarrow and attempted to run around front with it. It hit a rock slamming it to a sudden stop crushing Vegeta from the hips to the tops of his thighs, "damn" he cursed loudly and straightened his posture, picked up the handles and quickly walked to the mailbox. After several more bumps, jerks, and one flip Vegeta had made it to the mailbox. He tugged on the door then he grabbed it and yanked as hard as he could, this ripped off the front of the mailbox "SHIT, now I have to fix that" he angrily threw the mailbox door to the ground and started pulling mail out of the mailbox. It took him close to ten minutes to unload the whole mailbox. He picked up the handles to the wheelbarrow and pushed, it didn't budge. He picked it up and flew into the house kicking the door shut behind him and sat down to happily sort through the mail.  
  
He picked up a handful of envelopes the first one read " UP TO $1000 CHARGE LIMIT ON THIS CREDIT CARD" he tore open the envelope and it revealed a shiny black credit card with gold lettering on it that said The Prince of Saiyans. He nearly giggled with glee as he set it aside and looked at the next envelope IMPORTANT: BILL he opened it. It read *Bulma, you owe us $432.68 on your water bill* "Holy crap" Vegeta thought "Doesn't this woman ever pay her water bill?" Next envelope said "PAY PER VIEW!! YOU OWE!!" "Omigod!" Vegeta screamed "I didn't know that meant it costed money!" He then decided that hiding it under the sofa would be the safest bet until he could pay it off. He walked back to the wheelbarrow and went back to sorting.  
  
4 HOURS PASS...  
  
Vegeta was lying on his back in the empty wheelbarrow there was paper scattered everywhere. Vegeta hated to admit it but sorting mail was fun. He had found overdue bills for the porn movies he had rented, doctor bills for Bulma and Trunks, He even found out that they were leasing their car.imagine that leasing it. Vegeta hopped up and grabbed a big black plastic trash bag he picked up handful after handful of envelopes and papers stuffing them into the trash bag. He then took the nineteen trash bags outside and left them at the curb for the trash men to come pick up in the morning.  
  
He neatly piled up the bills on Bulma's desk in her office. He picked up the Credit card and then ran to the sofa and grabbed the pay per view bill. He looked at the paper and found the number for customer service and punched it in "ring..ring..Hello, you have reached Patrick's Pay Per View customer service department How may I help you?" Vegeta cleared his throat and spoke loudly "Woman, where do I go to pay off my bill." There was a long silence then "Sir, if you have a credit card you can pay over the phone if you give me your customer number on your bill and your credit card number" Vegeta ruffled the papers he let out a sigh when he saw the amount that he owed "Okay my customer ID number is five five six eight two nine four seven three" the operators voice came back to the phone "Now sir if you don't mind it will take a minute for us to pull up your ID screen one moment" Vegeta had to laugh Bulma would have killed me if I hadn't been smart enough to use this credit card I got through the mail today. "Excuse me sir you owe eleven hundred thirty six dollars and ninety two cents." CLICK........  
  
Vegeta was in disbelief "I didn't know that ordering just a few movies every night could add up to this." There wasn't anything he could do or was there. "Wait! I like opening mail I could work at a post office and wear a neat little mask like the mailman this morning that way I can get the hundred dollars I need."  
  
Vegeta strolled out the front door and walked out into the road past the mailbox "Damn, I need to fix it. It will only take me a couple of minutes." He walked back into the house and got a flat head screwdriver and walked back out to the mailbox. He tried to screw the screw back in but he didn't understand how the screw had an X on the top so his screwdriver couldn't fit in it. "It might be a really old mailbox."he thought. Vegeta ran up the driveway and grabbed some duct tape and ran back to the mailbox and taped it on. He began walking away and heard a sharp CLANG as it fell down. After three hours of fighting with the door to it he had it screw on upside-down and it was taped at the corners. "NOW" thought Vegeta "Now I can go get a job" He walked by several houses, as he was walking he saw a sign on a stop sign that said "Work At Home: Toll Free: 1-900-I-NEED-IT" Vegeta turned around and ran home saying aloud "I need it I need it I need it" he walked into the house and dialed the number someone picked up the girl sounded young she said "Hello, would you mind staying on hold for a couple of minutes while I go take a shower..?" Vegeta thought well I really need the money so sure I could hold for a few minutes "Okay, but hurry" Vegeta drummed his fingers it had been an hour and a half. He angrily slammed down the phone "I can't work at home, I need a real job" He walked out the front door and up the street, around some corners and saw a sign "HELP WANTED" Vegeta walked in.  
  
"I am here to help" Vegeta shouted in a manly voice as he strode in. He looked up to see where all the giggling was coming from. Ah, yes poor Vegeta he had walked into a beauty parlor. Vegeta was almost embarrassed "How long would I have to work here to earn two hundred dollars?" A woman with spiked orange hair looked up "Well, Hon I guess you could work here bout' four or five days and earn that unless you real good, then you might earn it quicker" Vegeta smiled "What work would you happen to have for me to do?" The large woman looked up "Well to start with you can empty the trash cans, then sweep up the floors, clean out the tanning beds, wipe down the mirrors, and stock the shampoos on the shelves then we will call it a day for you." Vegeta looked up and said "Okay, ma'm I will gladly do all of that."  
  
So, Vegeta worked five days long and hard and was very happy when he received his paycheck and said goodbye to his friends at the beauty parlor. He left the door with $213 dollars in his pocket, his first stop was the bank and from there he called the Pay Per View people back up and charged $1000 to his shiny black credit card and paid the hundred dollars with his paycheck. He then threw away the bill from the Pay Per View people. And gladly sat down on the sofa.  
  
After relaxing for a couple of minutes he heard a car pull up. He peeked out of the front window.. it was Bulma and Trunks. He watched as Bulma walked out to the mailbox and looked at it rather oddly then tugged on it until the door came off in her hand. He saw her face grow rather red as she looked at an envelope that she had pulled out of the tattered mailbox. She then stormed back up the driveway grabbing Trunks by the wrist and dragging him along behind her.  
  
She violently kicked open the front door and walked into the room where Vegeta was no longer relaxing but now hiding. Bulma looked around "Vegeta, I know you are in here. You need to come out this instant and tell me why I have a bill from the phone company telling us that we owe $700 for someone calling a 1-900 number." Vegeta was still hiding behind the couch now racking his brain trying to think of when he had used a 1-900 number. Bulma had let go of a rather shocked Trunks and started going on an insane rampage through the living room to find Vegeta. Trunks looked around the living room and then said "Hey, mom he's behind the couch!" Bulma turned around and walked calmly to where Vegeta was crouched down and laid the bill beside him she stood up and said "For once I am not going to pay for it. You can go out and earn the money yourself."  
  
Trunks walked up to his room and flopped on the bed. He sat there thinking for a minute then picked up the telephone. He dialed zero and waited for the operator. It didn't take the too long to get the number for their phone service provider. Trunks then called the number. "Hello, I was calling to put a block on 1-900 numbers from my phone" Trunks waited hoping that he could get into their account. "Yes, sir and what is your name and account number" Trunks smacked his forehead and said "Let me find my bill and I will call you back." He hung up the phone.  
  
Bulma meanwhile was cleaning up the living room she neatly hung three pictures back up on the wall, and flipped the love seat back up. She grabbed her car keys and shouted for Trunks. Trunks came running down the stairs. Bulma looked at him and said "Get your things your staying with Gohan tonight." Trunks jogged back up the stairs to get what he wanted. When he was done he came back downstairs and peeked out the front window. "Wow, mom is already out in the car. I wonder what she is going to do to Dad tonight...." 


End file.
